The Heroic Kindness of the Man on 10th Street

Ali Benhamed, owner of the French/Bavarian restaurant La Parisienne (200 S. 10th street)in downtown Richmond, opens his doors on the 2nd and 4th Fridays of every month to the community for free salsa lessons, followed by an evening of open Latin dancing. In the handful of times I have been able to make it there, it has become one of my favorite things to do. The last Friday in April, I had made plans with a friend to go. I am a type 1 diabetic who had battled with my blood sugar levels for most of that day and was feeling a bit off, but they were in normal range by the the time I was ready to leave. I packed my glucose meter and some glucose tablets, just in case, and ran out the door. Normally my friend and I carpool, but this night she needed to leave early, so we took separate cars. The first hour was amazing; I danced my heart out and was having a wonderful time. About a half an hour after that I started not feeling right, so I drank some more water and checked my blood sugars; everything was normal, so I chalked it up to the effects from earlier in the day, and wasn't about to let it keep me off the dance floor. A few dances later I really didn't feel right so I went out on the patio to cool down, continued to worsen, then eventually ended up curled in a ball on the bathroom floor feeling so overwhelmingly nauseous I couldn't move. I then began to feel like I might pass out and started to realize the seriousness of the situation (I did not know at the time that even though my sugars were normal, my ketones were dangerously high--basically my body was poisoning itself and could quickly become a life-threatening condition called diabetic ketoacidosis). I debated between calling 911 or texting my husband, and decided on the latter since I figured maybe it was just motion sickness or something I ate, and I didn't want to make a scene. A neighbor was able to come over to the house to be with our kids, and my husband set out on the 30 minute drive to come get me. Meanwhile, I realized I needed to be out of the bathroom in case I passed out, and started to worry that something would happen to me and no one would know I was diabetic. In fact, there is a bar in the restaurant, and it would be the most logical assumption for people to think I was just drunk (not knowing I don't drink at all). I crawled out of the bathroom and onto a nearby chair (both of which are around a corner and out of sight) and was completely unable to make even the slightest movement. Most people didn't know I was there, my friend had left, and the one woman who passed me on her way to the bathroom assumed I was drunk, and very sweetly gave me all her best advice on how to feel better. I was really getting scared and didn't know what to do. Then Ali happened to see me as he came around the corner. Now, he very easily could have assumed I was drunk or tired and dismissed it, especially with all he has to do in keeping up with his restaurant, but he didn't. He came over to me and asked if I was o.k.; I managed a small shake of my head and got out "diabetic". He offered to make me some food, but I knew my levels were o.k, and knew I couldn't keep down any food. He offered to get one of the wait staff to come sit with me; I declined knowing my husband was on the way, didn't want to have to have a stranger see me be sick, and knew they had a restaurant to keep running. He walked away and came back with a female server "so (I) wouldn't feel uncomfortable", put a chair in the bathroom, and had us both lock ourselves in so I would be away from the noise and be undisturbed. he then asked her to take care of me and get me anything I needed. He said I should not be embarrassed, that he had taken care of his wife when she was sick, and that everybody needs that sometimes. After a while I knew my husband would be getting close, and that I somehow needed to get out the front door. I started to slowly make my way when Ali spotted me and quickly came over, took my arm, and helped me to just outside the front of the building. He pulled up a chair for me to sit, then grabbed another server to join us (so I wouldn't be uncomfortable with just him out there with me). He then asked for my phone so he could call my husband and let him know I was being taken care of until he could get there. I started to have chills and shake violently; he quickly rubbed my arms as fast as he could, using friction to try to warm me up and get the chills to abate, all the while calmly telling me that everything was going to be o.k., that my husband would be there any minute, and that I would be alright. When we spotted my car, he had his waiter go flag it down and helped my husband get me into the car. After we made it home, I discovered my key tones were astronomically high, made a call to my doctor, and was promptly sent to the ER where I was given the meds and fluids I needed. I was able to get back home later that morning feeling worn out, but so much better. What I didn't get over so quickly was the incredible gratitude that I felt for this gentleman who didn't know me, had a million other things to do, and had every reason to pass me by and let others handle it. Instead, he chose to not only help, but to treat me with the respect, love, and compassion of a family member. I struggled with knowing how to thank him, feeling that nothing seemed adequate. I felt his story needed to be told; not because he did it for me, so much, but for the fact that he would have done it for anyone. A person willing to sacrifice and treat others with such humanity and dignity is a hero in his/her own right and deserves to be recognized. So thank you Ali, for reminding me that there are amazing and genuinely good people all over this world, and that I just needed to open my eyes and start taking note. ****Please feel free to share and/or comment on this post; I will be hosting a thank you dinner at La Parisienne this coming Friday and will share this post and any comments directed to Ali. I would love to give this man as much recognition as possible. If you are local please feel free to join us (the dessert crepes are especially delicious!--8pm, and for daring souls, salsa lessons to follow) ***Also, need to give special thanks to the other heroes of the night: my hubby, for coming to the rescue, both sets of neighbors who came over late at night for the rescue and the hospital trip, a good friend who was willing to come with my husband to rescue the car I drove so it wouldn't get impounded for staying in the garage over night, and for the sweet bathroom lady, who, even though mistakenly thought I was drunk, still cared enough to stop and help.

Why the New Blog?

With this being the first post, I thought it expedient to begin with the why. I am often disheartened about the state of humanity after watching all the crime and horrific events that so often saturate our news. There are times it feels like there are so many terrible things happening all over the world and even in our own towns and neighborhoods that the world is a scary and dangerous place to be. But then an elderly gentleman at the grocery store will offer to take my cart to the cart return when he sees my arms are full with children, or my neighbors will have blown the leaves off my lawn while I was out, or a complete stranger will see the look of distress on my face and offer the use of his cell phone and GPS when he realizes I am lost,and countless other incidents of a similar nature,I have to believe there really are a much greater number of good people out there than the few crazies that we so often hear about. So many individuals are out there doing extraordinary things whose stories are never told. Unfortunately, news stations have so much on their plates (there really is so much news, and so little time to cover it all) and pressure to get viewers that these stories rarely make it on air. I couldn't shake the thought that if news reports of crimes could result in "copy cat" acts of misconduct, couldn't the opposite also be true? Could sharing stories of the beautiful, inspiring things that people do spark "copy cat" acts of kindness? This became the birth of the idea for this site; a site I hope becomes a community where not only I can share stories and spotlight individuals who show heroism through reaching out to others with compassion , but a forum where any reader who desires can share their stories as well. A place where people can come to be inspired, and gain the courage to go out and become an everyday hero themselves. Is anyone wondering,"But why start this now, don't you have enough on your plate?" The answer is "yes I do!", but I have felt strongly compelled to create this site; The "now" is because events of last weekend led to particularly heroic action in my behalf (don't worry, you'll get the scoop in my next post)and I couldn't figure out the appropriate way to thank a virtual stranger for such incredible compassion. A simple thank you note or flowers just didn't seem quite enough, so I hope public acknowledgement may begin to suffice...